Leaving thoughts....

what i'm packing with me....

Its been over 7 months, and my time in Africa is coming to a close. During these months I have walked through many different seasons, each with its own lesson, prepping me for the next step in this incredible journey. I felt like at the end of my time here I would have found a lot of answers to some of the questions I had come here determined to get answered. To some yes, I have, to most.. my experiences here have caused those questions to lead to more and more questions, some i'm realizing maybe can't be answered anytime soon. Questions on what to do with poverty, how do i feel about it, and what is my role in it? How do I walk away from it when there is SO much to be done, a disturbing haunting lack of basic healthcare that kills hundreds everyday?.. what are the needs around me in the states that i could get excited about participating in? God has placed certain passions on my heart; medicine, children, & health, they continue to have a strong presence in pushing me along in life, the joy of finding a way to bring all those together, of serving God with the gifts hes given me. Mercy Ships has played a significant part in confirming thats what I need to continue in. Two principles strengthened here.. i believe to whom much has been given, much is expected (God owns everything we have) & if it is within your power to do good unto someone..make the EFFORT to do it with the BEST of your ability...and do it with JOY.

Observations:
Ghana & Liberia are filled with amazing people...but esp. in Liberia, coming out of 14 years of a disturbing, bloody war I find it a very IRONIC country... on one hand i've come close to many men/boys that wouldn't hesitate to rob/harm me and their people in broad daylight, who carry scorns of hatred and evil pride from there ex-rebel days, and an EXTREME corruptness that continues to distrupt the nation from its much needed healing
.... but yet the majority has this UNFATHOMABLE resilency from the HORRIBLE acts that were uncontrollably violated by.. they carry FORGIVNESS- accepting these people back into their communities, HOPE- for their nation to be restored, LOVE- for perfect strangers..an amazing hospitality and deep care for me/us that touched me in a profound way...going the extra mile time and time again..when they owed me nothing (reminds me of what Jesus has done for us) They would give you their last plate of rice for the week with persistence and a smile. GENEROUS beyond their means..TRUSTING God to provide for their needs. BRAVERY- woman, who endure beatings as a common marital practice, many times forced to have children for a man's selfish pride, and the will to get up everyday in survival mode.. no savings, no food cupboard for back up, no jobs to be occupied. PASSIONATE- bibical passages flowing from them naturally like their reciting their ABC's

.... I have been surprised to find that some of the most amazing, beautiful people i've come across in life so far..are found down the dirt road..into the mud/stick homes of that old wrinkley woman who gets up at 5am to sweep her front yard made of dirt and feed her 10 children... As having many of them as patients I have gotten to interact with them on a intimate level. I think the most profound thing I've been reminded here because of them has been how SIMPLE life should be. How complicated i make it. They have nothing, but they trust God for everything....THEY know the meaning, the DEPTH of grace. They don't thrive upon merit or pleasures...they live on God's provision and find geniune thanksgiving in every detail of their life. When they sing, its the most beautiful sound in the world...because its faith from their very core, its unhindered. The funny thing, it isn't much of what they've said outloud..its just they way they live. Living in this crazy environment both on & off the ship here has revealed to me how incredibly selfish i am. How i am just as guilty of participating in our own culture's obession with consumerism and selfish ambitions. a constant glory seeker... feeling very ugly, there was a season where i completely hit the wall on knowing what to do with all i was seeing, what could i possibly do.. realizing..i can't save the world, i don't have the slightest wisdom or strength to help them, to stop the vicious cycle, to heal a nation, or even to change myself.. when i came across this passage:

" Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread." Proverbs 30:8

That is my prayer as i go home. That I would continue to try not to live my life on my own strength..but depend on God DAILY to continue to lead me and mold me into the beautiful creation he as designed me to be.. to TRUST in His GOODNESS, and daily provision for whatever it is we need. To let my light be stronger than darkness.

Children - The children here have touched me deeply as well. I find a refreshment that children are, at the core, the same even across the ocean. They continue to be a display of our basic human needs... love, affection, pure joy. And as little 5 year old Daniel puckers his burnt lips/face up at me and giggles as i clean his wounds.. i can't help but think of how beautifully resilient God made them. And just like the old woman,.. I find a unique sense of a genuine, simple, and loving attitude that cuts to the core of me, and hope to be more like one day.

"freely you have recieved, freely give" Matthew 10:8

"for you were called to freedom brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word... You shall love your neighbor as yourself"

My time with Mercy Ships has been a dream fulfilled, but also an added log on the fire for what I believe God is asking us all to do..step up to the plate.. go deeper into the game.. WHEREVER we are, there is much to be done..with God's strength, joy and wisdom. Hes the coach.. and WE are a significant part of his team.

"whereever" is relevant for me b/c i'm not sure where to go from here long. Will spend the following 6 weeks after leaving here at the end of May, traveling all around Europe with good friends..after that.. I feel like God's given me a complete peace about taking a season to be near home and good friends and family.. get to those weddings, birthdays, and holidays i've been missing.. moving to Chicago hopefully in August and trying to get a travel nursing job at a Children's Hospital. I am sad to leave the amazing community and events of everday life with Mercy Ships, but excited and ready to enter this next season, process everything i've seen, and let God show me the next path to pursue. Look forward to seeing many of you in July and hearing all that has been happening in your lives :)

P.S. only 2 more days before the Africa Mercy Ship joins us and the moving begins! (8 years of waiting for completion finally over!!!) President of Liberia will be with us the day before I leave, May 29th to celebrate!!!